im moving to another blog. this one is pretty much full (after 3 yrs it damn right shud be).

here's to new adventures, new curses, fowl words, memories and outbursts.

YOURTIMEISNOW.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 10:20 AM

nobody will prolly know what i mean but, the least you could do was to call me back.

nevermind.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 2:17 PM

i dunno what else to say.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 2:13 PM

i failed print journ. entirely my fault.

please dont ask me questions. i dont know how to answer them. i know what i did wrong but i cant put it in words. im gonna repeat it next semester. maybe i wouldnt graduate with you guys. seeing the results make me feel like quitting. i just wanna get over this as fast as possible.

ive never failed in masscomm. the worst was a D+. i cant seem to look eye to eye with my parents and that sucked. the last time i had an F on my results slip was when i was in greenridge and i failed maths at sec 2.

i want to say that i regret not paying attention but i dont. there's some contentment in me when i found out that i get to repeat it again. i get another shot at doing what i want- i gave that up when i entered year 3. 'selling out empty dreams'. (whatever that means, i just had to write it down, no relevance watsoever.) my emotion's all jumbled up but other than that, im fine. disappointed at myself yet again. what's new nad...

im not sure what im gonna do now.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 2:00 PM

on a more _______(pick one: gentle/nicer/positive) note, some girl complimented me on the mrt just now. she said to her friend that i was quite stylish of which her friend then looked at me, nodded his head and said, 'style'. i just smiled.

so im a stylish minor-looking girl.

how *makes a face* nice.

.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 1:09 AM

"dzool! you're dating a minor siak!" said the friend laughingly.

"ah ah. kau tak tahu ke? die kan baru 15," said he (sarcastically?)

"nolah. im not 15. im like, 19." said me incredulously. i was really trying hard not to roll my eyes.

she laughed. "wow. you're 19." pauses for quite a while. "really ah?" i nodded. they said goodbye and went on their way after that.

i felt like a loser. no offense, but do i look like a minor? (fyi, i am not in the mood to see nodding heads or hear agreeing words blah blah.)

how did she deduce me as a minor (when i didnt even open my mouth to say a full sentence)? why does everyone mistake me for a minor? is it the way i dress? is it the way i look? is it the way i act? is it the way i talk? is it my voice; is it too squeaky? is it my face; how my feature irritatingly resembles that of a baby? issit my cheeks? it's my cheeks isnt it? if i had a slim big-cheekless jawish face then i dont think i would look like a minor.

God. this thing is bugging the hell out of me. when i got on the mrt just now, i felt as if everyone was telling each other about my age. about how minor-ish i look. people would think im an anak abu who's trying to dress up older than her age. i felt like shouting "IM NINETEEN FOR GOD'S SAKE! YOU PEOPLE WANT TO LOOK AT MY IC?!"

what do i have to do to make people know that im nineteen? hang a sign on my body that says 'i turned nineteen on october this year. no, really.'

im just overeacting arent i? it just irritates the hell out of me (i think i made that clear). if i dont look like my age, i know (because of past years) that people wouldnt take me seriously. what i say, how i act, whether i show my emotions or not, people (even friends, will just dismiss it and laugh it off. but when they're mad oh wow, the whole world has to plead at their feet). it's fucking frustrating to not be heard and not be taken seriously.

for now i guess i have to try to like the child looking face i see in the mirror. the temptation to scrap my cheeks out of my face and to yell out 'look old, you effing minor' to the mirror is overwhelming.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:41 PM

i am not sure if i should put a tagboard. havent had a tagboard for 3 years.

hmm. so how? should i?

(yes, i do realise that you cant really respond to my question because i dont have a tagboard. heh.)


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 2:23 PM

i kinda miss the pantatz. realised that i forgot to load the pics of us going to jb.



i dunno what came over us to take crazy pics like this. i think we were bored waiting for my sushi.



backviews of me izzad n wan. i like this picture. i think we're walking in to malaysia (..truly asia).



didnt realize how big isa's palm is.



izzad the fake cadet. he looks like a girl from the back.



alah lah lah lah lah.



the ex-grs on the train. but then wan's not in the pic.



finally.

i cant help but laugh out loud everytime i see the pics. the jb trip was hilarious.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 1:36 PM

hari raya still hasnt sunk in yet.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 1:28 PM

i cannot stand it. i need to get out of the house.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 4:36 PM

here's another episode of..

The Camera That I Didnt Return: At jon's place.



this is the birthday boy, armed with his skewer (for bbqing, what were you thinking?), trusty singlet and a sheepish smile.



this is amelia, the birthday boy's friend in all her cacatness (no really, that's how she is).



this is amelia again. notice how she likes to be in pictures with that same animated face (not that she can change it).



someone forgot to take her medicine. guess which one?



faz and her serial killer boyfriend.



snapshot of jacquin and her dazed boyfriend. last time i heard he was still reeling from the camera's flash.



taking a pic of a pic of a pic of a pic of a... oh, you get the point.



alicia charlene perrine andrea and chia (whose face is blocked).



chia sleeping and andrea awake. ok, im kidding. he just closed his eyes at the wrong moment. not the photographer's fault.



now i know how a whoopee cushion feels.



i swear, my legs were a bit deformed after that.



dah squash, squash, sempat senyum.



alah si giler nie.



liy and riz.



liy, riz, and their premature child.



mixing white wine, chilli sauce, ketchup, coke, red wine and someothercrazyingredient for jon to drink.



if you see it up close and personal, you'll puke.



the sporting bday boy. yuck (to the drink, not to you jon)..



jon turned very red. perrine was just redfaced. thus an appropriate name for them was in order: meet the lobster siblings.



fork you. hahaha.



karol, me and amelia's finger.



karol me amelia and jon after the entire thing was over.



my 3 spastic friends.



erin n me after all that torture she put me thru.



shark, si yahyah papaya.



erin went scubadiving straight after that at the nearby swimming pool.

and that's all for the camera that i didnt return. stay tuned next week to find out if the camera is going to be returned. (cue credits, go credits).

ok, im just talking crap now..


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 3:18 PM

dont get me wrong. me anticipating is not your fault. sheesh.

im anticipating even though i know what you're doing, and that you're busy. i just anticipate even though i know where you are. it's scary.

im not an anticipator. i dont anticipate in relationships. im just not that kind of person anymore, i guess. yesterday i anticipated for your call. amidst the laughs, the bbqed chicken, the picture taking and the irritating screams of some underaged sec sch kids beside us, i checked my phone a gazillion times. it's freaking me out.

the fact that i anticipated could only mean that im getting deeper into this. and deeper means i cant possibly get out. see, it's scary. naturally when things like these invade my brain, i get angry. i was more angry at myself than anything else. the rest was just noise and excuses. getting pissed at you was uncalled for. sorry.

you dont have to apologise lah dodohead. it wasnt ur fault.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 1:49 PM

i have too many wants but too little money.

please wipe out thoughts of buying it for me.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:57 AM

you idiot. you slept on the phone again.

im beginning to get tired of hearing just your breath on the phone while i go yelling hellos to the receiver. if you want to sleep just tell me. im not a sleep nazi.

goodnight.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:09 PM

i am totally in love with the oblongs. i think milo is adorable and creepy susie is quirky. i like helga for her burliness and the debbies (a bunch of 5 girls wearing, acting, walking, talking the same) for being so freaking typical.

stereotypes were in abundance right down to the kids acting all hip hop ish with slick hair, tight black tees and gold bling blings. yvette, a fellow debbie but totally different, was cool. i cant help thinking about a phrase i saw on the blackboard of a class filled with attention deficit disorder kids in a special school. something about 'all you need to do is conform'. heh.

the chain smoking cat is cute; it even coughed its lungs out.

'hey can someone give me a rope, i need to climb up skank mountain,' said a midget-wearing-a-football helmet pointing at mrs oblong. she took out her wig early in the morning revealing her bald head. her husband looked at her lovingly and said, 'isn't she cute?' haha.

i really really love it. never before have i love a cartoon so deeply.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 10:29 PM

'i think i'll remain for a while and poke my first love's remains with a stick,' said milo.

'it will make one heck of a fertiliser,' agreed mr oblong.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 9:43 PM

i have a lot of things swimming in my mind (lets just assume that my mind is filled with sugar water. that will explain the lack of good ideas and my extreme cravings for anything sweet).

bush won the elections. it makes me shudder and cringe about what he's gonna do next. i dont have a liking for him. after i watched michael moore's extremely draggy and thought provoking farenheit 9/11, im beginning to loathe bush. amazes me how he can wake up everyday and go about doing what he do (as pointed out in farenheit 9/11; absolutely nothing) knowing that through his actions he has killed (and is still killing) thousands and thousands of people. innocent people. the election comes around, he drops everything and he totally forgets about the war, hidden nuclear weapons, osama bin laden and what he intends to achieve through the effing war.

watching john kerry giving his "it's okay, im still gonna keep fighting" speech is somewhat saddening. it should be since he lost. i myself am not sure if i want him to win. do i have any other choice? after looking at him, i realised his face is funnily long dont you think?

watched white chicks yesterday though i know many of you watched it a loong time back. white chicks got me thinking (for such a thoughtless bimbotic movie it surprises me too). in there, the two bimbos mentioned something about the rich always being number one and can do anything they want. "that's just how things go." That is sad. cant help wondering how true that is. im too tired to talk about money since im suffering from something the rich people call "nennynennypoopooimrichyou'renot" syndrome.

i miss girls' night out. i guess im in desperate need of it. but going out would mean spending money and my mom working alone. if im paid to do housework, i'll be rich.

The Oblongs premieres tonight on central at 930pm. theyre from Angus Oblong's book creppy suisie blah blah blah. im excited. finally a far-from-perfect to downright weird-edging-on-morbid family (besides the simpsons). read the review of the show on the new paper two days ago. besides the blown up words and extensive amount of information, basically they said one thing: the show sucked. im gonna watch it anyway.

im hooked on the sounds of tabla (what's new). there's just something about the dak dak de dak de dak dak (okay im bad at this sound thingy). you're right, my indian roots are showing.

oh, one more thing (as jackie chan's uncle will say in jackie chan's adventures on kids central at 12pm, something that most of you wont know coz you're matur-.. erm, i'l shut up now) there must be something about them jack purcell shoes. i keep getting stares. i think i forgot how to wear shoes.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 5:53 PM

" the money go down the drraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnn..."


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 5:45 PM

hari raya songs are playing on the radio. the fact that hari raya's next week havent really sunk in yet despite my kimono style kebaya hung on my room door and the kuih-making. i havent bought anything new for hari raya.

celebrations this year are not like every other year.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 5:27 PM

my fingers are oily, my greenridge pe shirt that im wearing smells of baking powder and baked cookies, i bought 2 plain shirts at the market and im sitting like a nyonya kalah judi. this unofficial-potential-housewife-in-training thingy is kinda fun.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 3:20 PM

it was nice hearing your voice mushliagurl. your template is cool. see, you are capable of doing something great so dont ever say you're gd for nothing. i want to go out with you one day and relive the dynamic duo days. haha. we should do that more often-talk on the phone. im always a number away. take care. love you. oh, enjoy your hols.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 1:04 AM

Turn her over,a candle is lit. I see through her. Blow it out and save all her ashes for me. Curse me, sold her the poison that runs it's course through her. Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over, all over.

Watch me fault her, you're living like a disaster. She said, kill me faster with strawberry gashes all over. Called her over and asked her if she was improving. She said "feels fine". it's wonderful wonderful here.

Hex me, told her; I dreamt of a devil that knew her. Pale white skin, with strawberry gashes all over, all over. Watch me fault her, you're living like a disaster. She said, kill me faster with strawberry gashes all over.

I lay quiet waiting for her voice to say, "Some things you lose and some things you just give away".

Scold me, failed her. If only I'd held on tighter to her. Pale white skin that twisted and withered away from me, away from me. Watch me, lose her. It's almost like losing myself. Give her my soul and let them take somebody else. get away from me.

Watch me, fault her. You're living like a disaster. She said kill me faster with strawberry gashes all over, all over me.

-strawberry gashes, jack off jill.

.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:49 PM

i really like watching local bands show their stuff on stage especially if they play my kind of music. it's interesting, lyrical and entertaining. of course, the dancing uncle in the middle of the waterfront theatre at esplanade is an additional treat. talk about life beginning at 60, he was totally living it up. he did a 360 degrees turn with his butt even jennifer lopez will lose out.

i like band names especially the weird kooky ones. there was a band that played just now (but we missed it) with the name 'Eugene's moment of truth'. that word rounded the corners of my mind several times (prolly cause my mind is already small as it is).

other band names i like are the rocket summer, death by stereo, the deadly romantic. they're just so nice to say. heh.

.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:43 PM

i think when i grow old, im gonna be an indenial old woman with saggy cheeks who thinks she's seventeen and loiters the void decks wearing plenty of makeup, sitting around in the field and eating grass. after lunch hour is over, i'll chase the little kids around, taunting them with shouts of 'i want to eat you alive'. when they report to their moms, im gonna act like the docile grandma and be sane. most possible location will be in bedok. no particular reason. maybe me and melia can start a club.

.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:39 PM

i made up my mind. im going to do what i've always wanted to do: get vintage stuffs and keep them. constant visits to clarke quay flea market inspired me a long time back but the lack of money stopped me. im giving in to temptations.

i'll start small.

.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:35 PM

i have an idiotic-spastic-vertically-enhanced but sweet boyfriend (yes people, i finally admit it).

despite the many nasty adjectives i use on him he's still sweet. he, that slimeball, tricked me into going lavender (army market) because he wanted to buy a bag. so i, the naive-airheaded-blurcock of a girlfriend thought nothing of it and we went our way. till he said on the mrt that there was a surprise for me at lavender. words like that can get a kaypoh girl like me into a thinking frenzy. reached there, thought nothing of it (actually i forgot abourrit).

came to a shop selling mostly converse shoes. he picked up a medium blue canvas jack purcell (the one that i have but is so worn out it can be used to skate)and said he wanted to buy it. i protested and said i mine, i dont want to be matching. but then when the sales asst got the size, tt tall thin bugger told me to try it on. like what the hell? then he admitted it was for me.

a series of punches, pinches, pushes and verbal abuse followed (so im an evil girlfriend, get over it).

i tried it on. and now it's mine.

thank you, i really like it. i still want to know what's surprise no. 4.

.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:12 PM

pink and orange all over.







my newly painted room.



the other side of the wall. few more touch ups and it's complete.

.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 2:27 PM

so i say still away sleep close my eyes; an image of your face traced in white sand. underneath, undefined. i lay down arms outstretched. i embrace the fall. and all the time i tried to let you know discomfort comes clearly. sometimes you see right through me. words. you're married to your pain. although you hit me hard, i come back. the earth's cries ease the pain. on the inside, run behind. which one will i face?. thin comfort in what i say. my back is turned a halo. my soul for a while and all the time i tried to let you know discomfort comes clearly.

song about an angel
sunny day real estate


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 5:24 PM

just so you know, my mom is sewing baju kurung for $30.

just holler or call me anytime.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 4:44 PM

I'm quite excited. deepavali's coming. Hari Raya too but ive never really celebrated both at once. i have a sudden craving for indian sweets.

im heading down to Lim's Arts & Living in a while with djools. they're having a sale till 30th Oct. and i plan to go Little India next week. if i have the time that is.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 4:03 PM

i like the rain but im absolutely terrified of them lightning and thunder.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 3:46 PM

im not sure if it's me but young, posh and loaded on starwold annoys me.

"i shop, i sleep, i walk... oh! i eat," the rich bitch said when asked what she does all day. i sound jealous, i know.

it somehows disturbs me that people like that exists. the show, in all, is very disturbing. im beginning to wonder whether there's an intention or purpose (as mr. campbell never fails to remind us) to the show.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 3:38 PM

i'm hooked on sunny day real estate and straylight run right now. their songs are on repeat in my comp. adds to the gloomy atmosphere.

it's been raining and i cant help feeling elated. there's nothing like rain and skippy's peanut butter and choc to cheer me up and get me on the go. fine, i admit, i havent been fasting due to my period. not fasting sucks and im really looking forward to the end of my 35cm-pad-wearing days.

my life's been pathetic. ive described myself as a potential housewife because that's how i feel. give me a 5 year old wailing bratty kid, a cookbook and a new set of cleaning materials and i'll be a naggy-jaded-inexperienced-confirmed housewife on the brink of killing herself. i cannot imagine doing this all my life and being confined to these four (so what if it's spacious?) walls. im beginning to realise the burden and amount of work my mom does. im also beginning to think that im an only child (minus the showering with gifts that a normal only child usually gets).

my room is almost complete. i feel like im the only one sleeping in there though there are two beds. again, i feel like the only only child. i wanna scream at them, i wanna smack swear and lock them up and not care about them. but knowing me and always thinking about others i dont. felt guilty spending 60$ on stuff for my room at Ikea yesterday. still, it was nice to get out of the house.

im a deprived teen. if only i have helpful siblings. or better still, a maid.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 2:29 PM

a plead to you.
nut

reaching out to you hoping you
would hear me out through
all that clutter and flashes
every move you dont make hope dashes
hearing your sound loving your own
seeking forever searching
hoping you would hear me out.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 1:36 PM

had fun swapping songs w/ amelia. here's for laughs- Engrish.com. hilarious. listening to the vines doing a cover of outkast's miss jackson is comforting, i have no freaking idea why. heh.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 1:27 PM

i'm pink and orange all over. it's not as if i dont care i guess im not good with them words. we're gonna satisfy our food cravings today- me kat dil. i havent been out of the house for four days and im so sick of being indoors. i cut my hair yesterday; it's so long it's irritating. $11 for just shortening it. it's gonna take 2 years to grow back to that length. im not losing any weight.

had a dream about a jailbird who wanted me to write a book about him. he offered me sushi and i couldnt resist. i wonder what relation (urgh reminds me of massinah) that dream has to my life. durga, as in the one in singapore, just emailed me and everyone she knows about pasar malams. she sounded so desperate i feel bad for not knowing whatever she wanted to know. i have to work. my parents cant afford our living anymore (not that we live lavishly). they just dont want to tell us. that amazes me because they're not really good actors. we're teens not kids. i think they havent got pass that "my children's all grown up" stage yet. realised howie's got a blog. i find him very unpredictable.

im gonna eat sushi tomorow, like in real life. banu ady n jane are going on a cruise next week. that's fun. i wish i can go somewhere and have fun. im sick of being the considerate child while my siblings laze around and do absolutely nothing. we're all breaking fast at my grandma's house on sunday. when i grow old, i dont want to be like them-the only 2 people in the house. and yet i know that i will. it's inevitable. i miss watching movies in school but i absolutely have no time. im trying hard to save my money to buy the things that i want for hari raya because i dont want to trouble my parents but i just realised that i cant stay home like this. standing by the window watching cars pass by wishing that something happens so i can run down and watch it. it beats staying in the house doing housework all day.

im having a headache. im wearing a primary five t-shirt and it's not even tight. been sleeping on the (small) sofa because my room's in quite a mess coz of the paints. im pink and orange all over and im quite happy with that. will borrow djools camera to take pics. tomorow will be another memorable day with the pantatz. glad that it's happening. it's been a week since we're fasting. 3 more weeks. i wish fasting month is longer. im addicted to reggae songs at the moment. dancing to it caused me to clumsily move my brush dipped in pink paint over the orange painted wall. not the effect i want. it's our room and yet im doing all the work. the pains of having selfish siblings. it is the month of forgiveness. i'll just keep my mouth shut. call me. gonna get back to spilling paint on myself. remember to bring book for dil. gonna get more stephen king books. i guess that will have to wait.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:15 AM

aiyak. i totally forgot. i hope i dont fail.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 2:10 PM

i know this is the season to be forgiving and loving (and fuckingwhatnot) but i really dont like my brader. i wish i can sell him off. dont think i dont mean that because i always mean what i write. it's like it's their fucking computer and im just another bloody user. i hate selfish people-i especially cannot effing stand it if they live under one roof as me. i hope he gets married soon, if possible tomorrow so i dont have to see his face anymore. but then again, what blindmutehandicapped girl will marry him? i've been painting and helping around the house all day and i just want to relax in front of the comp (since ive only used it for 15 mins everyday now) and you know what he does? sit for like 20 effing hours in front of the comp, downloading music and porn on our family computer. and he says he needs to do schoolwork. maybe his course is teaching a module called 'ways to jerk off to porn' ( i bet he'll ace that). that's prolly the only thing he learns in school. or maybe, maybe it's a module on 'how to be an unsucessful/ ungentlemanly/grotesque man'. or maybe, maybe it's a crash course on 'how to be an asshole everyday!'. if it is, i dont think he even need to learn that-he's a natural ass. wow! finally something he's very good at. may he get married soon and get a man-controling wife, get out of the house, have lots of sex and get many many many children. that way they can surf porn and jerk off together; like have some male bonding-literally. i have to log off now, to make way for my dear brader to surf porn aka "schoolwork". stoopidmoronicfuckwitbrainlessasshole.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:50 PM

i am having major food cravings; sometimes they pop out of nowhere.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:08 PM

"it's such a nice day out you wanna walk?"

"no i dont really like walking. it's soo... pedestrian."


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:05 PM

i know that the song my boo, by usher and alicia keys is a hot favourite right now (well, it seems to be with them people who like r&b) but that song is not in my fav list.

both my sis and my brader have been playing/singing/humming that song non-stop. it's like an itch at a place where your hands and fingers are too short to reach (welcome to my life).

i dont understand how that song is nice (no offense to anyone who likes it). if you were in my shoes and have heard the song in so many variations you can actually sing all of them, then i guess you'll hate it too.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 10:58 PM

i teared over the show 'jason texas' on hallmark. it's based on a true story of an innocent african-american hitchiker who got picked up by some white people.

the white people thought it would be fun to beat him up. but then they got greedy and tied him with a chain to a truck. they then dragged him all the way to town. but of course, even before they reached town, his shoulder was torn off, his head rolled away and his torso was completely gone. his pants shirts and underwear got scraped off so bad it tore to pieces. the 3 white kids then drove away leaving his body there.

it's so saddening to see all that; the pictures of him dead, his screams and wails, his unrecognisable body (i swear, it looks like a shaved cow on hooks at butcher shops), the way his mom cried when she found out. God. it's so riveting. then there's the black panthers and the klu klux klan. they anger me somewhat. like the fuck. why the hell do they need to be formed anyway? they're such sellout konon-superheroes.

i cannot believe how inhumane some people can be.

and today, i realised how savagely annoying the media and journalists are. i mean, for fuck's freak's sake, the family are in mourning. they're depressed, they're angry and the media just lavish in all that and turned the entire town and people into funny farm (or something mental like that). i got so peeved and jealous of the media there. Peeved because of all the microphones in my face (they had first-person shots), Jealous because whenever something remotely huge happens in singapore, the maximum number of microphones present (or if you're lucky, microphones that are in your face you're almost licking them) is 4. it's quite embarassing.

watching that show made me somewhat glad that nothing like that happens in Singapore. not that it wouldnt be interesting...


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 10:35 PM

gonna go buy paint for my room today. im so excited!

i cant decide what colours to buy exactly. i want my room to be pink and brown with little hints of orange. i want to have polka dots, stripes and flowers. okay kan? im gonna paint the living room a little red too. can't wait can't wait.

before i can do all that, i have to get through massinah exam (which is today) first. i feel so unprepared (but still excited!).


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 11:22 AM

i've decided to not put a song on my blog till i can find somewhere to upload my songs. maybe im gonna put a radiolog like faz. but then i'm not sure. im currently hooked to so many songs, i really cannot choose.

guess you just have to be contented with whatever's here.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 9:49 PM

i love the fasting month. *smiles*


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 9:45 PM

-christabel lamotte

.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 9:43 PM

my mom, my sis and me are going on a cookie/kuih raya frenzy.

she quit her job (because singapore post has started selling lottery tickets and she's not comfy with tt) and so has decided to sell kuih rayas. my sis and i happen to be her coolies. it's fun making kuihs and cookies but it sucks because i happen to be an accidental klutz.

once, a long time back, i was just standing in the kitchen without touching anything (my mom gave me a cloth to hold in case i spilled anything), just standing there watching and the telephone rang so i turned to grab the phone. a cutlery holder got caught in the cloth and toppled over, hitting a cup of water which spilt onto a cup of flour which then fell to the floor. i forgot about the phone and hurriedly tried to wipe the mess when i hit my head at my mom's arm (she was standing above me then) causing her to spill a bowl of dough mixture all over. amidst all that i managed to get the cloth burnt, broke some eggs and made my mom trip because of the wet floor. heh.

this time, im only in charge of decorating the kuihs instead of making it. this is gonna be fun (and safe, i hope).


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 9:33 PM

horror of all horrors.

we had our first so called fight on thursday. dont ask me what it was about, i seriously cannot remember. ive never not talked for 2 hours. we went to suntec coz he wanted to go to the arcade. he walked straight ahead and i was left alone at the back. it wasnt a surprise that i got lost there (you got to admit; suntec's huge!). after his dose of initialD, we walked all the way to town without talking.

by the time we passed the art museum, i was too tired to even remember why we were fighting. was so looking forward to sitting down, talking things out and drinking caramel frappucino at starbucks far east. reached there at 8 only to find that starbucks far east has closed. the horror of all horrors! it was so fucking traumatising. i actually teared then called dil up to complain. haha.

anihows, we talked things out and things are ok. ate, laughed a lot. then met dil to go home together. such an eventful day.

and im just writing mundanities down.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 9:04 PM

bits and pieces.

changi beach. taking pictures. mrt rides. bus rides. long bus rides. sour cream crackers. honey jasmine green tea. root beer. enjoying the wind. b.u.m. slippers. tugboats. yachts. clouds and sun. digicam. stripped smart shirt. marlboro green. yishun. nine six nine. water on sand. coconut tree sketches. dragon lion dance. chinese ritual. turkey ham sandwich. sudden anger. huge confessions. sleepyheads. rainbow-striped shawl. pink skirt. keeping memories. loving. superheroes. airplanes. prison. freaky toilet. uncanny people. changi beach. us.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 8:06 PM

Bushmen is gorgeous. watched them play at esplanade yesterday and they got the audience to their feet (except me of course). was so tempted to get up and dance. what are temptations but to tempt us? heh.

i fell in love with the guy playing percussions (this botak malay guy who can really dance). he grooved to the beat while he hit the tabla-like-thingies. bongo maybe, i dont freaking know. either way, it sounds goooooooooood. he can sing too.

i really like yesterday.


.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 9:57 PM

Living in a robotic world.
nut.

Dolls, in all helplessness
uncontrollable, destructive selves.
and the world's too selfish to give in
too proud too admit.
a broken joint, a stuffed stomach
in all quirkiness, sad simple
epitome of man's desire
for perfection, love
finding a love only a lover would know
in all helplessness.
too weak to realise the perfectness
in imperfection.

.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 1:59 AM

here lies a bloggable moment.

met his parents. it was totally unplanned.

it was as awkward as an awkward moment should be.

i felt like meat about to be butchered and sold. i felt like grabbing a spade and burying my whole self into the earth and not coming back again. i felt so welcomed i could have cried.

they were so nice.

.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 1:55 AM

figments of a failing memory.

on my birthday.


outside school library, after waiting for dzool for 2-3 hours.



going down the steps (though i think taking pics at that point is absolutely unnecessary).



the CBD area. after much asking and pondering (they were tightlipped about where they're taking me), the bus stopped at the CBD area.



that's almost all of us sitting and waiting for keli (i think).



took this pic once we reached our destination. me and the guys. almost all of them are wearing blue.. so nice. dont ask me what keli is doing, i seriously dunno.



the girls in the pantatz. so sweet.



keli nak step handsome and cool (please or.. he's far from it). the sky's getting darker.



my birthday cakes.




after a rendition of happy bday and "Allah selamatkan kamu" the pantatz style, i cut the cakes.



the pantatz sitting in a row, facing the river, eating chocolatey cake.



my feet in all its cacatness.



trying to act cool. (wan isa ady)



isa amin wan and their horrendous poses.



them again.



and again.



and again (obviously they're not camera shy people).



izzad; armed with a guitar, a good voice, and his trusty poncot.



singing to the song. potential karaoke singers. haha.



me zareen faz :the soul sistas (lemme hear ya flo' sistas).







after the celebrations, we (minus isa and amin) went to eat at shah alam.



me fiddling w/ amelia's digicam and dzool taking useless pics.

.: wished i was with lucy in the sky at: 1:31 AM